Faking it till I make it; really how cancerous I was to myself

another funny pic I found for this title is this LMAO

6357939402985988521193542050_fishThe title of this post should have been “Meaninglessness – The Battle of my (maybe your/ maybe not) mind.” but chose otherwise.

By the way the content of this blog entry was hard for me to express and is, in my perspective, all over the place. TBH I don’t associate meaning to if people get my writing or not anymore but since you’re here I really want to offer you value so.

Another heads up. All my blogs mean the world to me. Everyone has a different perspective and I respect that. Still, DO NOT let anyone shape your world. Like a product, you can put up all the excuses and all the blaming, at the end of the day the last choice of buying the product is yours. Same for your ideas about yourself, people can say stuff to/about you but the last call if this TRULY defines who you are is REALLY up to you to decide. DRAW THE FUCKING LINE – this is the secret to happiness.

*listening to TLOP by Kanye while writing this post.*

I have had an epic week since Sunday.
Sunday I came out of The Landmark Forum very self-aware with so much to give and share.

The difference is
that I am at peace doing what I did/am doing/will do.


I had the uncontrollable/impulsive habit of never listening. By that I mean I was 24/7 using everything other people’s said to me and ALWAYS tried to relate every word to ME. The simple act of doing that limited my whole life. This was the first step of constant Judgements, Complaints and Comparisons that left me puzzled. In my opinion, communication is the spine of every relationship; professional or not, family or acquaintance. Thus, LETHAL if missing.


I have a confession. I’ve been faking it till I made it since November. The irony is that, I myself, didn’t catch myself doing it. I lied to myself and believed in the lie HAHALMAOFEIOFH.


In other words, my words, I now have some self-awareness about my blind spots and strong attitudes that brought me to where I am today and made me unhappy in various times in my life.

If I had to describe self-awareness, it is that you TRULY get what taking responsibility means. In reality, my emotions never really depends on any external factors AT ALL.


Something that I will really agree on is that when there is no judgement, complains or comparisons going on in my head (aka really not giving a fuck), I am way more productive. The workload gets done in 30 minutes not 2 hours or the strangers I greet open up way more effortlessly. Thus:


But yeah. I do love to do everything and not do anything now. This is true(or may not) HAPPINESS.


2 thoughts on “Faking it till I make it; really how cancerous I was to myself

  1. Great post! I like what you say about making excuses and blame, and at the end of the day each of us make the decisions that define oneself. This applies also to emotions that I think ARE affected by external factors. You only have to ask someone who suffers from depression but doesn’t want to be. We can’t fully control our emotions, but we DECIDE what to do with them. God’s even given us the ability to act contrary to our emotions and overcome them.
    These are my thoughts, from my worldview. Don’t let them shape you 😉 but I hope you see some truth in it.


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